Maybe I'll Vote After All...

"Who is she?" ... "Why was she chosen?"

I don't think any of us know the answers to those questions 100% yet...however, when I learned a few facts about Palin, McCain's choice for VP, I felt the first stirring of hope and excitement that I had experienced since the beginning of this presidential race.


Most important to me is the fact that Palin is staunchly pro-life...not just in words, but in practice. She's the 44 year old mother of 5 children. Her youngest was born just this past April, and has Down's Syndrome.

If any other conservative Christians out there felt like I did about McCain's moderate stand on the pro-life/pro-choice issue, (discouraged? Apathetic about whether he wins in November or not?) then you are probably just as excited as I am that a truly pro-life candidate is on the presidential ticket.

Besides being impressed with Palin, my opinion of John McCain has risen a little bit, just for taking the risk to choose her. I mean, it was a terribly risky move, but it may just be the move that wins the election for him this fall...

Palin has little experience in the public eye, compared to most seasoned Washington politicians. She was the mayor of a tiny Alaskan town before being elected governor - an office she has held for less than 2 years! However, Obama has very little experience in politics as well, (and he's running for Presdient,) so any hits against her for not having enough experience shouldn't be taken very seriously by anyone in my opinion. She also brings the "freshness" of having little experience, youth (she's the youngest person on the presidential ticket,) and new ideas - the very things Democrats have argued work for Obama in his inexperienced political career.

As a woman, Palin also may work to draw Hillary supporters away from the Obama campaign. Palin is the 2nd woman in U.S. history to be on a presidential ticket - and the very first Republican woman to do so.

Coming from Alaska, Palin knows a lot about the oil industry. I think her experience may interest those who are concerned about the fuel "crisis" that our country is going through. Though she has little to no experience in foreign policy, she is definitely a strong domestic policy candidate.

From the beginning of the primary races earlier this year, I felt very disheartened by the whole campaign. Obama, Clinton, McCain - not one stood out to me as someone I could get excited about, or feel good about voting for. I had almost made up my mind not to vote this year, I felt that apathetic about the choices.

Palin is just a VP nominee, but she is someone I can get excited about. A pro-life mom, who hasn't had the chance to be corrupted by D.C. politics yet, and who takes strong stands on the issues that are important to my family and I. Suddenly I feel ready to go out and vote for McCain!

We're excited to get to know more about Palin next week, as the RNC takes place in Minnesota.

Oh the Joy of New (Maternity) Jeans!

I'm laughing as I type, because it suddenly hit me that I'm becoming what I told myself I wouldn't become...the pregnancy-obsessed woman, who has the need to let everyone know (interested or not...mostly uninterested I'm sure!) about every detail of the whole process!

So anyway...

Can you believe at 10 weeks I can't fit into any of my old jeans? (What's scarier is the fact that I haven't been able to button them since week 7.) I have played with the idea of maternity jeans since week 8, but all those pregnancy sites scoff at that idea, telling me I can wait another month or two.

Well, I'm sorry dear pregnancy sites, but I miss my jeans. And my belly is looking really fat right now. And I know that makes me a pregnancy freak or something, but it's true.

It was probably due to the guilt trip that was laid on by those sites, but I felt very conspicuous...almost GUILTY, looking at maternity jeans yesterday. Luckily the maternity section at Bon-Ton was pretty quiet...and to my surprise everything was on sale!

I was pleased that I fit loosely in a size M pair of petite maternity jeans (it made up for the humiliation of standing before that merciless 4 way mirror...just a little bit.) The waist was a little baggy...but oooooh man, were they comfortable! It was like putting on a pair of sweat pants...except they were jeans. (What an awesome invention!) It didn't take much thought before I was off with my maternity jeans to the check-out-line.

It feels so indescribably good to be wearing jeans again...and it feels even better to not have my stomach popping up over a buttoned waistline. With a belt they work just fine, and me and baby are very comfortable. And now I can finally go wash that old skirt I've been wearing the past two months and put her away in a drawer for a little while! :)

10 Weeks

[From L to R... Head - Hand - Belly - Feet!]

Here's our healthy little baby. (Emphasis on the healthy...*sigh of major relief!*)

I was so nervous going in this morning. I could hardly get any breakfast down, and was shaking walking into the office. We had a long wait in the waiting room before being called back for the ultrasound.

Unfortunately, to make matters worse, I soon learned I had to have a vaginal ultrasound, rather than the normal "on the belly" kind...due to having had bleeding a few weeks ago. It was extremely uncomfortable, as always...until she found the baby.

There he was kicking and wiggling his teeny legs and arms...his heartbeat going fast and strong. I couldn't believe how much bigger he was since last time! What amazing growth in only 4 weeks! As soon as I saw him, all the discomfort didn't matter a single bit anymore. I started laughing like a nut, then proceeded to burst into tears. It was an amazing moment.

Since some of you have a hard time reading the 2D ultrasound images, I am happy to announce I have a special surprise for you. The ultrasound technician gave us a bunch of 3D images of the baby - they are absolutely incredible, and I am so happy to show them to you...




I saved my favorite for last. It's baby's cute little BUM! :) I just can't stop staring at his perfect arms and legs...what luck to catch him sucking on his thumb at the ultrasound!

It was a marvelous day. I'm really pregnant...really, really pregnant!

My Favorite Actor

I don't have much respect for Hollywood, but I do have a favorite actor.

His name is Sidney Poitier. His most well-known movies are from the 1950s and '60s...though you may never have heard of any of them. While some of them are considered to be "classics" in the movie world, they're not very well known today.

What stands out most to me about Sidney Poitier, is that I've never seen him in a bad film, (and I've seen quite a few over the years...because I love him so much.) Yes, some of his movies do deal with harsh elements of life...but he always plays a man with strong character, and usually with with a strong moral fibre. He's always classy, graceful, and well spoken. His roles usually portray a strong character development, which is important to me when watching a movie. (I don't care for "fluffy" films that much.) :)

Here are just a few of my favorite Poitier films, that I would recommend you check out sometime... (You won't be disappointed!)

"Lilies of the Field" was one of the first Poitier movies I ever watched. I think I watched it with my grandmother on TCM, because whenever Grammie came to visit, we'd hook up to cable or satellite just so she'd have TCM (Turner Classic Movies) to watch while she crocheted. Oh, and she liked movie with nuns...

It's a great movie, about a drifter (played by Poitier) who finds himself driving through the American southwest, (in New Mexico or Arizona I believe.) He runs across an old mission, inhabited by some German nuns, who desperately want a church built for their impoverished, sparsely populated, mostly Hispanic community. Though he's reluctant to work for the sisters, (especially since they can't offer him any compensation,) he ends up getting very involved in the project, especially when opposition comes along. It's a very sweet movie, that'll leave you believing that there's hope for the human race after all.

Matt and I watched "A Raisin in the Sun" soon after we were married. Neither of us knew anything about it, or the famous play it was based on. However, we were totally taken into it after only a few minutes of watching.

The movie is set almost entirely in the family's tiny apartment and feels a lot like a play...however, the "claustrophobic" setting makes the characters stand out just that more vividly. It's about a large family living together in tight living quarters. There's the matriarchal mother, the head of the family, and her two children...a son and a daughter. The son (played by Poitier) is married with a son of his own, and continually creates schemes that will result in getting his family into a better financial situation...however hard he tries though, he never seems to get what he's looking for... The performances are simply stunning. By the end of the movie you feel like you know the family personally, it draws you in that much.

I saw "To Sir, With Love" with my Mom when I was young, but Matt and I watched it together just this weekend. (Yay, Netflix!) I remembered it being good, but watching it a second time I was stunned at how great it was!


In the movie, Poitier plays an inexperienced teacher, who gets his first job in a tough London ghetto, teaching extremely out of hand, rebellious high school seniors. As the movie progresses, he gets a hold of each and every student's mind and heart and becomes the teacher they'll never forget. It's a very powerful, moving movie, and I think my favorite role that I've seen Poitier play.

I hope that at some point in life, you'll get to watch a Poitier film, because when you finish watching one of his movies you walk away with the thought that you've just watched something really worthwhile...something meaningful. I just wish there were more movies out there today that gave that same feeling.

I Love My Babies

When did you first know what you wanted in life?

I think I was about 11. We had some friends from out of town come to visit, and they had a new baby with them.

Now, I had seen babies before. I am a homeschool alum, the oldest of 4 children...I don't think I knew a family, growing up, with less than 3 children. I had helped take care of my youngest sister a lot, who was born when I was 8, and had changed diapers, etc. I knew all about babies...

...But something happened the year I turned 11...(h-o-r-m-o-n-e-s...) and when Mrs. S. smiled at me and asked if I wanted to hold the baby, and I took that warm, sweet smelling little body in my arms, something went *pop* in me. I don't know what it was...perhaps a burst of progesterone... but I KNEW in that moment that I wanted one of these little miracles of my own one day.

When Matt and I were dating, one of the first things I demanded to know was what he felt about kids.

J: So...how do you feel about kids?
M: I like them.
J: How much?
M: A lot.
J: (After a moment of uncomfortable silence...) Well, I think you should know before this goes any further that I want 10 of them.
M:(After another moment of uncomfortable silence...) Well, I don't know...
J: What do you mean you don't know? I thought you said you liked kids.
M: I do...it's just that I always kind of wanted to have 12.

So we got married, and began the process of trying to start a family right away...only, nothing happened.

Months went by...then a year... I had plenty of false alarms. I went through so many pregnancy tests, and never got the faintest positive line. I did everything you're supposed to do. I charted, scheduled, planned, observed, changed my diet, started taking prenatal vitamins... It all produced nothing.

In March I thought we finally had a breakthrough. I was LATE. Like, not just one day, but 5 days. 5 days late was even convincing enough to get Matt to allow me to buy another pregnancy test. (He had banned me from buying them after like the 53rd false alarm...) I bought a First Response, and prepared to take the test (that I knew would be positive) the very next morning.

I got up super early, used the test, and stared at it unblinkingly, waiting for that dark pink line to appear. Only, it didn't. Not even a hint of a line. Not even an evaporation line. Nothing. To top it all off, (in case I was still in doubt,) minutes later my cycle kicked in at full force.

I felt like I had been kicked in the stomach by a mule. (And it wasn't because of the cramps.) I had fooled myself again...or rather, my body had fooled me again. I was so frustrated and upset that I told Matt that morning that I was done trying. So we stopped...we stopped the charting, the scheduling, the symptom watching, the caffeine restrictions. And it felt GOOD. For the first time since getting married I felt like the young, happy bride I was supposed to be. We threw our cares to the wind and just lived. It was great.

And lo and behold, I found myself pregnant the very next month.
Can words describe the first moment you know you're carrying your first baby? As soon as I saw that positive line my jaw hit the floor...and then my heart jumped to 550 beats per minute. I felt like I was going to faint and fly at the same time. And all my excitement and joy seemed 10 times greater than it should be, simply because we had waited so long.

That week was one of the best weeks in my life. I knew total, uninhibited, reckless joy. We told almost everyone. We talked about names. We 'knew' it was a boy. I scheduled a doctor's appointment...

Then the unimaginable... It was a Wednesday morning, just one week after getting the positive pregnancy test. I woke up in horrid pain...there was blood, and lots of it...and I knew in an instant that our baby was gone. I was only 5 weeks along.

Some people have told me that I was lucky that it happened so early. I saw the wisdom in those words, but they made no sense to my emotions. There was nothing 'lucky' about it to me. I couldn't believe what God had done. After we had waited so long, for Him to take the baby away so quickly made no sense to me.

Sometimes I think back and wonder how and why my grief was SO incredibly strong, for that tiny undeveloped embryo that was doomed from the start. But I don't wonder about it long...I know the answer... Because as tiny and helpless as that little one was, he was still our baby. Our child, the product of God's grace and Matt's and mine love for eachother. He was my hope and my joy.

It is SO hard to lose a child. Even a tiny child...a child I only knew existed for a week. The miscarriage shattered me so much that for a few weeks I felt resolved to never try again. I even thought about getting my tubes tied. I still wanted children, but there was no way I wanted to put us in the position to go through that horror again.

God and time heal in incredible ways, thankfully. After those horrid first few weeks of grief, I felt the Lord softening my heart and soothing my spirit. He showed me that even though it WAS a horrible experience, that our baby was with Him, and that even a tiny little life is still a life with a purpose... And more quickly that I thought possible, the desire to "try again" came back into my heart.

My body healed miraculously quickly, and my cycle was regular in just one months time. I didn't expect anything to happen though...not immediately, anyway. I mean, it had taken over 18 months of trying hard-core before we got pregnant with #1.

We were so surprised, then, when just 10 weeks after miscarrying, we had another positive pregnancy test.

I think for one split second, I experienced that excited happy joy as I stared at that pregnancy test...and then it went *poof* and was replaced with sickening anxiousness and worry. All I could think was, "am I ready to go through another miscarriage? Can I handle it, God?" From the very beginning I forced myself to take the pessimistic outlook that this pregnancy was doomed to fail too. I did it to protect myself. If things worked out well, then praise God. If I was going to miscarry, I didn't want to let myself get attached and excited.

Well, I'm 9.5 weeks along now. We got past the "anniversary" of 5 weeks, when we lost the first baby, and I started to hope again. Where as I had little to no symptoms with #1, I have experienced a slew of regular pregnancy symptoms with #2. And I have had my days of scares and anxiousness... I have had cramping and even some bleeding - when I first started bleeding I was beside myself. I just "knew" it was happening again...

However, at 6.5 weeks, I had a vaginal ultrasound, and saw the baby...no bigger than a tadpole...with a strong, beating heart. Despite the bleeding and the cramping, the baby looks very much alive. I was even told, "congratulations - you have a viable pregnancy."

As the weeks slip by I continue to let my guard down, little by little. My excitement seems to be growing at the same rate my belly is swelling (MUCH faster than I thought possible!) I have found it hard to talk to this baby the way I talked to my first, but I write her letters...(we don't know the baby's sex, but I am hoping it's a girl...which means it's most likely a boy, of course!) :) I even let myself daydream about whose nose he/she will have, and how much hair will be on her head. Things are starting to feel normal, and that's a nice feeling.

I don't expect the nerves to go away completely, but I am learning day by day to give this baby back to the Lord...to not hold on too tightly, while not letting go completely... All in all, we feel very blessed by this new life, and are looking to the future with hope.

*Photo of pregnant belly is not of me or by me. :)

Our Love Story - Survey Style

1. Where / how did you meet?
We met at church...where all good boys and girls should meet. :) He was visiting from OH. He was a worship leader/guitarist/singer/carpenter. My Dad liked him right away because he was a Petra fan. My Mom was wary, because she thought he was 30, (keep in mind I'm 18 at the time.) My sisters couldn't stop staring at his ponytail. I noticed him right off the bat, because he looked like a hippie...(and hippies have always fascinated me.) I didn't know whether I thought he was attractive, per se, at the time...but I do remember having the distinct feeling he was going to be important in my life from the moment I met him. (Oh, and just so you're not getting upset with me, my parents, or my dear husband, he was not 30...in fact he was 24...and a 6 year age difference sounds a LOT better to moms than a 12 + age difference.)

2. How long have you known each other?
Approximately 3 1/2-ish years.

3. How long after you met did you start dating?
We officially "met" in July...I think we went on our first date in November. In between July and November there were lots of intense staring matches between us...but not much else. (I don't think we said 5 words to eachother in those 4 months.) The lack of verbal communication had pretty much decided me that he was not interested. So I was a little surprised when he asked me out to dinner one night. I was more surprised that Mom and Dad were OK with it (Matt had already asked Dad's permission - just to ask me out!) I was MOST surprised that I said yes so fast. (I felt sorry for him, because the barn he had been building at his sister's place had blown down that morning in a wind storm. I just couldn't bring myself to make his bad day worse.)

4. How long did you date before you were engaged?
We were engaged 7 months after our first date. In April, Matt told me he wanted to marry me. This was only a few months after our first date, and the thought of marriage at that moment made me feel very, very young. I was scared, OK? So I broke the relationship off...with good intentions, mind you. I didn't want to lead Matt one when I wasn't sure of my own heart.
It took me a week, (if that,) to realize I was in love with him, and couldn't live my life without him. Of course, I was stubborn, and waited until June before I finally told him. We were engaged immediately thereafter.

5. How long was your engagement?
One long year and a half.

6. How long have you been married?
One year and 9 months.

7. What is your anniversary?
December 16

8. How many people came to your wedding reception?
I don't think I ever got an official headcount, but more people than I expected showed up. It was wonderful though - there was more than enough food and cake, and I think everyone had a good time.

9. What kind of cake did you serve?
I don't remember much of it, but I do know it came from Wal-Mart...and it was pretty. The top was decorated with fresh red and yellow roses.

10. Where was your wedding?
We were married in the little church where we met for the first time...*sigh* It was romantic to us.

11. What did you serve for the meal?
This was a source of contention between my parents and I...(after all, weddings cannot be pulled off without at least a teeny bit of contention!) We wanted a potluck style reception. My parents thought catering was the way to go. In the end we compromised and got party platters of sandwiches, cheese and vegetables...again, from Wal-Mart.

12. How many people were in your bridal party?
10 total. The bride and groom...I had my two sisters, a friend, and my dear godmother with me, and Matt had his cousin and three good friends with him.

13. Are you still friends with them all?
Yes...though with life staying perpetually busy, it's hard to stay in touch as much as one would like.

14. Did your spouse cry during the ceremony?
No, he didn't. I didn't either. I actually don't think we payed much attention to what was going on. I hadn't slept or eaten in over 24 hours. And my feet were killing me.

15. Most special moment of your wedding day?
Kissing Matt...for the first time...yes, ever.

16. Any funny moments?
There was my friend, Mrs. L, (who was trying to catch Mr. L. at the time,) tackling the bridesmaids for the wedding bouquet...she got it too!

17. Any big disasters?
Luckily, blessedly, happily no.

18. Where did you go on honeymoon?
We went to Asheville, NC, and stayed in a tiny 2 room cabin for a week. It was grand.

19. How long were you gone?
Exactly a week.

20. If you were to do your wedding over, what would you change?
I'd drug myself the night before, to make myself get some sleep...and I'd skip the high heeled shoes.

21. What side of the bed do you sleep in?
Standing at the foot of the bed, my side is on the right. We decided that on our wedding night. Matt asked "which side do you want?" I thought, pensively...because I hate decision making. But the left side of the bed was right next to the closet doors...which were basically floor to ceiling mirrors. And I realized "me" wasn't the sight I wanted to wake up to every morning. So I chose the right side.

22. What size is your bed?
Full

23. Greatest strength as a couple?
We never fight. (Seriously!) In all honesty though, I think our greatest strength is that we try to never rely on our own strength to make our marriage work - we rely on the Lord, in that we do our best to follow the rules HE lays out for married couples. Matt loves me, and I submit to his authority. Call it old-fashioned, but it works.

24. Greatest challenge as a couple?
Finding time (by time I mean time where Matt isn't 99% exhausted.)

25. Who literally pays the bills?
Matt

26. What is your song?
We don't have a song. :( Because we're boring like that.

27. What did you dance your first dance to?
We didn't dance...we've never danced together...because we're boring like THAT too...

28. Describe your wedding dress
My wedding dress is so special to me. My mother in law made it for me. It's an ivory satin sleeveless gown, with an ivory lace shift that goes over the top, with 3/4 length sleeves, and gathering at the hips and back.

29. What kind of flowers did you have at your wedding?
White poinsettias on the stage and Matt made my bouquet himself, out of bright red, fresh gerber daisies...(my favorite flower.) My bridesmaids didn't carry flowers...since it was an evening service, I had them carry lanterns with candles in them.

30. Are you happy to be married?
To say "yes" feels like an understatement. I am SO happy to be married to Matt. The way we met, got to know eachother, dated, got engaged, and finally married was not exactly conventional, but God made it so evident to both of us, throughout the process, that we were meant for eachother. I have no doubt that I am exactly where I was always meant to be, and that gives me the coolest feeling of peace and joy.

*Photo of wedding rings was not taken by us.

We Love Our Boys

Django

Moby

2 happy mutts... Life never dull...

I Love My Fancy Camera

[Matt took this picture with our fancy camera.]

...And I'll say it again...I LOVE my fancy camera! I'm not a great photographer, but this camera makes my pictures look like I could be one!

It's a Nikon d80...a dSLR (digital Single Lens Reflex) camera. I'm not 100% positive on what the exact definition of dSLR is (I could look it up for you right now, but I'm too lazy...) My definition is: A highly complicated, technical gadget that can use a wide variety of lenses, and basically works like a completely manual old-fashioned camera...except it's digital.

Ok so my definitions aren't that great, but that's the gist of it.

I don't like to talk about the technical workings of our fancy camera...I'll save that for my husband Matt, who LOVES explaining complicated, technical gizmos. All I really care about is, the camera takes darn good pictures, and I really enjoy using it.

I use the fancy camera all the time. Like this past 4th of July...

[This fireworks photo was taken by Matt.]

And to chronicle my rare dabbles in craftiness...

[Easter dress for one of my nieces.]

...The camera comes in handy to get silly pictures of my favorite mutts, Django and Moby...


...and to take a picture of our 6.5 wk. sonogram picture, as it hung on the refrigerator...because I still can't figure out the scanner...


...and to capture a bird on my husband's head...

[I mean, this kind of happening isn't an every day thing around here...]

Have I mentioned I LOVE black and white photography?

[Well, I really do love black and white photography.]

I used the camera to take a picture of my husband's hair... before his mother cut it all off...

[I actually really like his haircut. I only occasionally miss his shaggy look.]

I use the camera to take pictures of unusual architecture...because Matt and I are weird that way...we always notice architecture... And whether or not a roof is gabled or hipped...or even dutch hipped...because we're weird like that.

[Unitarian Church in Fairhaven, MA.]

[I love thatched roofs.]

I even use the camera to take pictures of me...because I like the way pictures I take of me look, and I usually don't like the way pictures OTHER people take of me look. (Hmm...I said "I" 4 times and "me" 3 times...in just 1 sentence.)

The Happy Housewife's Gone Public...

Hi, and welcome to my blog!

Here you will get a peek into the life of a domestic engineer...(what...didn't your school offer that degree?) It's a quiet life, but it's never boring!

Why do I blog? Basically, I love to write. I always have. I've been writing stories and journals since I was 5 years old. Blogging is a modern, hip way of doing both those things, with a ready-made audience to share it all with - you!

I also love to take pictures. I've been playing with cameras for quite a few years now. Just when I think I might be "good" I see pictures from those who are really good. I mean really, REALLY good. And then my bubble goes *pop.* However, 'good' or not, I love it, and I'll keep on doing it too. This year I graduated from a point and shoot, to a fancy Nikon d80 dSLR camera. I'm also learning about Photoshop Elements. I'll share my pictures with you here, and you can feel free to tell me how you like (or dislike) them in the comments sections!

This is going to be a busy year for me (and it's more than halfway over already.) I mean, just recently (as in within the last two months) all of this has happened:

*We got pregnant
*We bought a new puppy
*We started moving into a new rental
*We started thinking about moving to Maine...or perhaps Hawaii...
*We drew up plans for a little, teeny-tiny house (well, actually my husband The Carpenter did that, but I put my 2 cents in where needed...)

As you can see, therefore, I have lots to talk about...and share...and take pictures of. I invite you to keep checking in with me to see how these adventures play out in the near future!

Now hold on to your hats...because The Happy Housewife is going public...right NOW!